Understand that relationships don’t just fall apart. It is a process of erosion. By definition erosion is the gradual destruction, reduction and weakening of something. The gradual reduction and weakening of your relational dynamics will definitely lead to its destruction, if you don’t do something to prevent it. Let’s go through a list of potential signs that you may see in a failing relationship that will alert you that it may be falling apart.
Immaturity. The typical reasons for this type of behavior are usually selfishness and pride. Relationships are about sharing and caring for one another. It should not be based on personal needs. When you decide to make a commitment to someone, you decide to give of yourself in a selfless way out of love and respect and to ensure the success of your union. It is emotional immaturity that can lead to affairs and growing apart. This type of behavior will tarnish your relationship quickly.
Unrealistic expectations. It is amazing to hear the unbelievably high expectations that some people have in their relationships. It is not to say that you shouldn’t shoot for the stars but we all have flaws and fall short in some form. We are not perfect and our relationships won’t be either. So have realistic expectations of yourself and the relationship.
Pettiness. The small things are always the ones that break relationships down. Have you said or heard this type of statement, “If he would just take out the trash, we wouldn’t argue every evening!” or something along those lines. Is it really worth arguing about EVERY night? Or is it something that can be easily overlooked? Pick and choose your battles wisely.
Lack of attention. This one usually turns on the light bulb in your head pretty quickly. If your partner does not spend time with you or there is a decrease in affection and you both have stopped the pursuit of common interests. These are major red flags to look out for in your relationship. The lack of attention usually leads to unmet needs and this will push you further apart.
Constant conflict. This is something that will wear down your patience and confidence in the success of the relationship. Constant arguing is a sign of a bigger problem and this should be addressed immediately and must cease at once if your union is to stand a chance. Constant conflict means that there are some unresolved issues that need to be addressed. Find out the real issues.
Over commitment. When you’d rather be at work than at home, you are probably over committing yourself to work to avoid the problems you are experiencing at home. At this point the relationship needs an assessment to understand where it’s is going, ways to improve it and seek outside help if necessary.
When you see these signs in your relationship it is up to you whether or not you want to endure and ride out the rough patches or take a break from it all and let the relationship go. Keep in mind that relationships are the same with respect to working hard for the success of it, but maybe the person that you are working with is simply not “the one” for you. So if you see these signs and you want to try to get your relationship back on track, try some of the below action steps.
- Be best friends.
- Do something unexpected together.
- Make time for each other.
- Touch often.
- Share your experiences with each other.