Your relationship has ended and you are grieving and mourning the loss of your partner. The first thing that you need to know is that this is okay. When a relationship ends you have lost someone that was once significant in your life so it is okay to mourn that loss. But now you may […]
Your relationship has ended and you are grieving and mourning the loss of your partner. The first thing that you need to know is that this is okay. When a relationship ends you have lost someone that was once significant in your life so it is okay to mourn that loss. But now you may be wondering what you can do to get beyond this point and start moving on with your life. Let’s walk through some of the ways you can move on from a relationship that ended badly.
The feelings you have right now will not last forever, you will get past this point in your life. Pain and hurt although devastating, do subside over time. So please do not go drowning your sorrows in buckets of ice cream and takeout pizza. Long after the pain is gone the pounds will remain and besides just in case you see him out at the grocery store you want to look your best so instead of picking up your spoon go to the gym! Take action: Run, go for a brisk walk, bike ride or plan to do something daily that gets your blood flowing, this will increase your metabolism as well as relieve tension and stress.
Express yourself. Expression is notably one of the best ways to get in touch with your inner feelings and keeping yourself mentally fit. Expression can be done on paper by writing in your journal; this will allow you to release some of your emotions. Creative expression also works quite well; you can express yourself creatively by working on a hobby that you enjoy. Take action: Take up a hobby or get engaged in one you already have, expression is important mentally and creatively.
Celebrate your new single status and embrace the positive things in your life. Although you will take some time to heal from the attachment you had with your previous partner, you can now prepare yourself for someone better to be a part of your life, if that is your choice. This does not mean that you should rush out and try to fill the void you currently feel. This is called a “rebound” relationship and will only lead to more pain when you realize you “hooked” up with Mr. Wrong! Just relax and be patient you may actually want to be single for a while, without the responsibility of a relationship. Being a part of a couple has responsibilities, now you get a break from all that and can solely focus your attention on you. Take action: Go out with friends to celebrate the beginning of a new you. Do not use this opportunity to go out with friends to talk about your past relationship, remember this time is for you to celebrate not reminisce about the negative aspects of your past.
Let go of emotional baggage. It is important that you take this part seriously. Emotional baggage often times gets carried over into new relationships with new partners. If you want your new relationship to have any chance at success do not allow past indiscretions to define your new partnership. Remember not to compare your new partner to your old partner. Your new relationship will surely head for disaster if you do. Allow your new relationship time to develop its own characteristics; do not impede it with remembrances of your old. Take action: Journal daily for 30 minutes and 30 minutes only, this is all the time you need to vent and let go of your emotions. After journaling let it all go and do not revisit it again until the next day. You will find that soon your journaling will not be about the frustrations of your past, they will evolve into your expectations about your future.
Focus on your future. The relationship is in the past and there is no need to dwell there, it is time that you moved on and focus on what is before you. There is much to be explored and new things to come in your life. What are your goals and dreams? What have you planned to do but did not get a chance to do because you were so caught up in turmoil pending the ending of this relationship? Move forward and get going, let’s get your life back on track. Take action: Write down the negative aspects of your past and the positive aspects of your current situation and refer to it often for a reminder of where you’ve been so as to not relive your past.
Your action steps:
- Run, go for a brisk walk, bike ride or plan to do something daily that gets your blood flowing.
- Take up a hobby or get engaged in one you already have.
- Go out with friends to celebrate the beginning of a new you.
- Journal daily for 30 minutes and 30 minutes only.
- Make a list of negative aspects of your past and the positive aspects of your current situation place it somewhere that you can be reminded of it daily.